I went back to Wisconsin for Christmas this year. My first experience braving the cold, and 9 days of non-stop family, in three years. It was educational. The following are things I learned and/or rediscovered...
No matter how exhausted I make myself I will never be able to sleep on a plane.
Driving in a snowstorm is not fun.
My older sister sometimes has problems with the names of everyday objects. ("You know, the shiny magnetic thing that makes things cold." Otherwise known as the refrigerator.)
Only sisters can translate questions asked around a mouthful of toothpaste, complete with toothbrush.
My 9 year old nephew understands fantasy football, and I never will.
Vegetarianism is apparently a personal affliction that I force upon the rest of my family. ("Just have some, you won't get that sick.")
My being independent is apparently NOT a positive attribute. While originally insultingly amused by the comment (I'm 32, single, and live alone, who the hell else am I suppose to depend on?) there may be something to it. Further reflection is necessary.
We have slightly "off" senses of humor in my family, and sometimes conversational issues that only we appreciate. Mom needs her breasts flipped, Kim can't spread her cheeks any further, two socks qualify as multiple...
Drinking at the restaurant your sister is employed at can lead to a purse full of stir sticks and match books. And if left unattended said purse may end up wrapped in plastic "like a Christmas ham", with a note from the manager proclaiming your loserdom.
The Speedway still has the same unique scent. Which is not nearly as disturbing as it sounds, and is actually oddly comforting.
According to Uncle Paul my father is a "wuss".
Leggings are not pants. (Really. There's a website.)
Every time I see my maternal Grandmother she is convinced it is the very last time I will ever get to see her.
I am still intimidated when playing cards with Great Uncle Ted and Great Aunt June. And I never bring enough change to family gatherings.
College educated ad executives are not required to have a decent grasp of grammar. ("Snow is snowing" is redundant, plus it sounds stupid.)
I knew I was a bit of a loner, but I apparently require a lot more alone time than I realized.
I really need to work on the concept of forgiveness.
Last but not least, a question. There was a woman at the airport handing out religious booklets about "Jesus, your creator, who died on the cross for you." What religion is that?
It was an interesting trip.
